biblical love
Hey sister,
Valentine’s Day can stir up a lot.
For some of you, it feels sweet. You’re married. You’re in love. You feel seen and chosen.
For some, it’s complicated. Maybe your marriage feels heavier than you imagined. Maybe it’s good — but not what you dreamed. Maybe tonight looks more like dishes and bedtime routines than roses and candlelight.
And for some of you… you’re waiting.
Waiting for the man.
Waiting for the ring.
Waiting for the story to begin.
Today, I want to talk about love — but not the Instagram version. Not the movie montage version.
The biblical version.
Because Scripture redefines love in a way that changes everything.
Love Is Not a Feeling First — It’s a Fruit
In Galatians 5:22, we’re told:
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience…”
Love is listed first.
That means love is not something you find in a person first.
It’s something produced in you by the Holy Spirit.
That shifts how we approach Valentine’s Day.
If you’re single, it means you’re not waiting to experience love when a man shows up.
If you’re married, it means your husband is not the only source of love in your home — the Holy Spirit is too.
Love is not scarce.
It is grown.
To the Woman Who Is Waiting
If you’re waiting for your future husband, let’s start here:
Your longing is not silly.
In Genesis, God says, “It is not good for man to be alone.” He designed companionship. He designed covenant. He designed desire.
If you want to be married, that is not weird, or a weakness. That is design. It is literally how we are designed.
But here’s the tension:
Your desire for marriage cannot become your definition of love.
If you believe love only begins when he arrives, you will spend this season feeling incomplete.
In Psalms 37:4, we read:
“Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.”
That verse isn’t a transaction. It doesn’t mean, “Be good and God gives you a husband.”
It means when you delight in Him — when He becomes your joy — He shapes your desires, aligns them, and fulfills them in His way and timing.
Waiting is not punishment.
Waiting is preparation.
God is not withholding love from you.
He is refining you for covenant.
If you rush.
If you settle.
If you tolerate breadcrumbs.
It’s usually because you haven’t fully received the secure love of the Father yet.
So instead of asking, “Why am I alone?”
Ask, “Lord, how are You loving me in this season?”
You are not unseen.
You are being prepared.
To the Married Woman
Marriage is beautiful. And marriage is sanctifying.
In Ephesians 5, husbands are called to love their wives as Christ loved the Church.
That is not soft love.
That is sacrificial love.
But wives are also called to respect their husbands.
Love in marriage is not just romance. It is service. It is forgiveness. It is endurance. Our job is to get our spouse to heaven.
In Corinthians 13, we’re reminded:
“Love is patient and kind… It does not insist on its own way… It keeps no record of wrongs.”
That verse hits differently after year five.
Love is not butterflies.
Love is choosing softness when you could be sharp.
Choosing prayer instead of control.
Choosing unity instead of scorekeeping.
Valentine’s Day can put pressure on marriage. But biblical love is built in the ordinary.
It’s built in:
Laundry folded
Meals cooked
Apologies given
Grace extended
Romance is beautiful — celebrate it. Enjoy it.
But don’t let culture convince you that love must feel intense to be real.
Sometimes the deepest love feels steady.
The Greatest Love Story
Here’s what I want you to anchor into today:
The greatest love story was never you and a man.
It was Christ and His bride.
In Romans 5:8, we read:
“But God shows His love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
That is love.
Not when we were polished.
Not when we were perfect.
Not when we were desirable.
While we were sinners.
That means whether you are:
Single
Married
Divorced
Widowed
Dating
Healing
You are already chosen.
Already pursued.
Already covered.
Valentine’s Day is not about whether a man buys you flowers.
It’s about remembering that the King of Heaven already gave you His life.
When you receive that love deeply, something shifts.
You stop chasing love desperately.
You start stewarding love wisely.
What Love Looks Like Practically
So what does this mean for you today?
If You’re Single
Invest in becoming the woman you would pray your future husband marries.
Build strength.
Build discipline.
Build character.
Let God refine your standards instead of lowering them.
If You’re Married
Speak life over your husband.
Pray for him.
Choose encouragement over criticism.
Remember: he is being sanctified too.
For All of Us
Let love start vertically before it moves horizontally.
When you know you are secure in Christ:
You don’t beg.
You don’t compete.
You don’t perform.
You love from fullness.
So this Valentine’s Day, whether you are:
Getting roses
Buying your own flowers
Or sitting quietly with the Lord
Remember this:
You are not waiting to be loved.
You are already loved.
And from that place —
you can wait well,
marry well,
and love well.
Happy Valentine’s Day, sister.
Let the love of Christ steady you.
And let everything else flow from there. 💛